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Mirror, Mirror, on the Rodent/Script
Script: *Dog runs by, stepping in a puddle. Lamb Wick follows and falls straight through. Glasses Duck stops short and steps over it. *Glasses Duck: Puddles can be so messy. puts up a Caution sign. An ounce of prevention! *Rodent Dog: Hey, snailboy, move it, willya? I'm not getting any younger. walks off a cliff. *Glasses Duck: RODENT DOG, STOP! *Lamb Wick: off the cliff into Rodent I got a soaker, guys! *Rodent Dog: Lamb Wick, if you bump into me one more- *Glasses Duck: Um, guys? *Rodent Dog: What? *Glasses Duck: IMPROBABLE ALERT! *Dog realizes he's standing on thin air and rushes to safe ground. Lamb Wick stays where he is. *Glasses Duck and Rodent Dog: COME BACK, LAMB WICK! *Lamb Wick: I can jump it, guys! *Glasses Duck and Rodent Dog: NO, LAMB WICK! pull him back. *Glasses Duck: Now what? *Rodent Dog: I'm thinking, I'm thinking. *Lamb Wick: Can I think? *Glasses Duck and Rodent Dog: NO! ---- *bottle is spinning rapidly in the center of a circle formed by the kids. The bottle stops, settling on Tommy. *Tommy: It's my turn! Luck be a lady tonight. *Fat Dog: Right. Pick then. Truth, or dare? *Tommy: Dare me, sucka. *Hilary Hedgehog: Thattaboy, Tommy! *Fat Dog: Cool. Let's see. I dare you to...skip your turn. *Tommy: he's been played Darn it. *Fat Dog: What a sap. spins the bottle again. ---- *Duck is using four spinning paper cups to judge the wind's speed and direction. *Rodent Dog: What's the word, Glasses Duck? *Glasses Duck: Well frankly Rodent Dog, I'm concerned. The wind conditions aren't suitable for our trajectory. The lean is much too steep for the span. *Rodent Dog: What else is new? Let 'er rip, Lamb Wick! *Wick lets go of the tree root he's biting. *Lamb Wick: Gravy. *tree the Rodents are standing on snaps to its full height, rocketing them away. They land headfirst in the lane. *Lamb Wick: I think I hit a pipe. *Cool Goat: Buzz, buzz, buzz off, Cool Goat. is pretending to be a fly. Buzz, buzz, buzz off, Cool Goat. Buzz, buzzoow! runs into a fence, and all the kids (except Mandy and Tommy) laugh. *Mandy Mouse: You shouldn't have dared Jonny to buzz off, Fat Dog. *Butter Horse: Ah, the artichoke thickens. Are those the better-check-your-wallet Rodent-boys? *Fat Dog: Where? Aw, great. *Wick pulls himself out of the ground and yanks his friends out of the dirt. *Hilary Hedgehog: Who invited them? *Fat Dog: The dorks came to ruin our game. *Rodent Dog: Truth or dare? I love this game! Who's next? spins the bottle. I gotta warn ya, I'm a pro at this. Siddown, pigeons. opens his eyes to see that the Rodents are alone. Forebodingly, the bottle points away from them. *Glasses Duck: Their social skills are deplorable. *Lamb Wick: My turn to spin! spins himself around and points the bottle at Rodent Dog. Rodent Dog? Truth or dare? *Rodent Dog: Okay, dare, Lamb Wick. *Lamb Wick: Okay, I dare you, Rodent Dog, to sprout the wings of a bat and stomp like a zombie while whistling 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat' through a car wash. *Glasses Duck: Lamb Wick, try a more reasonable dare, please. *Lamb Wick: a long pause Okay, I dare Rodent Dog to be Glasses Duck. *Glasses Duck: Rodent Dog act like me? Why that's- *Rodent Dog: Stupid, Lamb Wick! You blew your chance to- *Glasses Duck: Y'know, Rodent Dog, it could be quite intriguing. Why I'd be flattered if you were to mimic me. *Rodent Dog: Let's see, where do I start? proceeds to mimic Glasses Duck The wind conditions are absurd. The lean is too steep for the fat. *Lamb Wick: Good Lamb Wick, Rodent Dog. Duck chuckles. *Dog pretends to strain to budge the bottle, unable to move it an inch. *Rodent Dog: Oh dear. The unsanitary. My skinny arms cannot bear the weight. Oh oh I know. I'll move it with my brain. pretends to concentrate. *Glasses Duck: sarcastic Ha ha ha. Very good, Rodent Dog. spins the bottle. Can we resume playing? bottle settles on him. Oh dear. *Rodent Dog: Ha! I dare ya to be Lamb Wick! Go on, flatter him. *Glasses Duck: Well, I suppose I could, but only if Lamb Wick will be Rodent Dog. *Lamb Wick: I can do Rodent Dog, I practiced. pushes his eyes together and starts speaking in a loud, raspy voice. Can it Glasses Duck! *Rodent Dog: Whaddya mean you practiced? *Lamb Wick: Shut up, Sockhead! *Rodent Dog: Please, Rodent Dog, you're invading my personal space! pushes Lamb Wick away. The trio laugh hysterically. *Rodent Dog: Well? *Lamb Wick: Do me, Glasses Duck! *Rodent Dog: We're waiting. *Glasses Duck: Very well. Let's see now. turns around and manipulates his face. When he faces his friends again, his eyes are spread out across his face. Buttered toast. Rodents laugh again. ---- *pours a hose onto a Slip-n-Slide. *Tommy: It's ready, Hilary Hedgehog! *Hilary Hedgehog: Here I come! slides the length of the toy. Whee! That was fun! Your turn, Tommy! *Tommy: sunscreen into his palm In a second, Hilary Hedgehog! I'm oiling up for speed! rubs the lotion on his chest and stomach. On your mark, get set- *Butter Horse: Out of the way! rides his unicycle into Tommy, and Tommy gets tangled in the spokes. *Hilary Hedgehog: worried Tommy! *Tommy: The wrath of destiny visits yet again. *Butter Horse: Butter Horse has no time for this! Hilary Hedgehog Where is your brother? *Hilary Hedgehog: What am I? His keeper? *Butter Horse: Yes. *Hilary Hedgehog: Backyard. ---- *Horse enters the backyard to see Lamb Wick's clothes stumbling around with a watering can on their head. *Butter Horse: Ho ho! There you are, one shy of a full deck Rodent-boy! Rolf requires your assistance. pulls the can off to reveal Glasses Duck. *Glasses Duck: Who is there? *Butter Horse: Imposter! You are not Rodent-boy! *Glasses Duck: Gravy. *Butter Horse: confused Hmm. *Rodent Dog: Glasses Duck's clothes and a sock on his head Pardon me, Butter Horse, but I have compost a theory. Once upon observation of this small rock, I have discovered actually mutated from a big rock. Intriguing. *Glasses Duck: like Lamb Wick Haw haw haw! slips. Curse Lamb Wick's horrible posture. *Horse turns his head to see Lamb Wick, dressed like Rodent Dog, lounging in a chair. *Butter Horse: Oafish Rodent-boy! hurries over. Butter Horse requests the presence of your colossal feet, as it is time to squish the raspberries. *Lamb Wick: I'll help if I give you a quarter, Butter Horse boy. *Butter Horse: his head What? grabs Lamb Wick. Your shenanigans try Butter Horse! Come, as the raspberries will spoil. runs off with Lamb Wick. *Rodent Dog: Oh dear. *Glasses Duck: Look at him go, Glasses Duck. *Rodnet Dog: That leaves just I and you. Lamb Wick, now that they've left, let's make fun of Rodent Dog behind his back. *Glasses Duck: Like we always do? *Rodent Dog: Ah hah! I knew it! *Glasses Duck: You're so gullible, Rodent Dog. Or as Lamb Wick would say, 'Gravy!' runs after Butter Horse. Haw haw haw! *Rodent Dog: Wait for me! I am slow and out of shape! ---- *chicken is pecking at the dirt. Suddenly, Butter Horse's shoe lands beside it. *Butter Horse: Hurry! as the raspberries beg to be squashed, Rodent-boy. *Lamb Wick: Let's sell the squash for cash. Chicken! it Pet the chicken, pet the chicken– sees Glasses Duck. The stupid bird stole my quarter. Flew away with it. Stupid. *Rodent Dog: Excuse me, Rodent Dog. May I fuel inject? Chickens cannot fly, as they are mammals. *Glasses Duck: I love chickens, Rodent Dog. *Rodents laugh heartily. Butter Horse, who is stomping the raspberries, glares at them. *Butter Horse: Rodent-boy! *Lamb Wick: Glasses Duck Wake up, Monobrow. *Glasses Duck: Oh right. Yes. Ahem. around to face Butter Horse I am Lamb Wick. *Butter Horse: hassled You are not Rodent-boy! I must have the large Rodent-boy here now. So please, Rodent-boy, raspberries to squash! Thank you. *Rodent Dog: Butter Horse said thank you! Isn't it refurbishing to hear politeness? *Lamb Wick: Put a sock in it, sock in it. I got a plan. pulls Rodent Dog's sock over him and walks behind Glasses Duck. Hey, burrhead. I will now inflict pain on you. *Glasses Duck: What? *Wick swings Rodent Dog, knocking Glasses Duck into the raspberry silo. *Glasses Duck: Buttered toast? *Butter Horse: No butter, raspberries! Squish the fruit, slowpoke Rodent-boy. Butter Hose needs juice for his great thirst! *Rodent Dog: Rodent Dog, I too am thirsty. Quite partial, to be correct. *Glasses Duck: from the muck Parched! The word you're looking for is parched! *Lamb Wick: Yeah right Lumpy! Parched is a fish! *Rodent Dog: Intriguing. *Butter Horse: You are not Lamb Wick. ranting You have cursed my raspberries to the life of salad dressing, impostor with tiny feet! *the berry juice begins to drain from its container. *Lamb Wick: You know what they say, Glasses Duck. shoves Rodent Dog's mouth to an opened pipe on the side. If you're thirsty, take a drink. Dog chugs it down and swells up. Gee, Glasses Duck, you really let yourself go. jumps on Rodent Dog, and Rodent Dog spits the pipe out. Kids'll pay big money to ride a blimp. You're a genius, Glasses Duck. *Glasses Duck: out of Rodent Dog's sock You really think I'm a genius? *Rodent Dog: Hey I'm Glasses Duck! I'm the genius! red-tinted Butter Horse opens Rodent Dog's mouth and climbs out. *Lamb Wick: I have caused discomfort 'cause I'm Rodent Dog! *Rodents laugh. *Butter Horse: Butter Horse has never been so confused. ---- *Duck is walking in the lane. *Glasses Duck: Uh oh, a fence! walks into it. Gravy. *Lamb Wick: Aw, come on, Glasses Duck. I don't say gravy all the time. *Glasses Duck: Buttered toast, then. *Rodent Dog: Toast is so crude, as the crust always gets stuck in my gap. Duck shuts his mouth to hide the gap. *Wick and Rodent Dog laugh as Fat Dog and Mandy Mouse walk up. *Fat Dog: I don't even wanna know. *Rodent Dog: Greetings, Fat Dog. A pleasure to look at you. May I inspect your nostrils? *Fat Dog: Get lost, dork. *Rodent Dog: Intriguing. Your apelike qualities ensure your smartness. Let's examine your brain! Dog pulls out a telescope and extends it so it goes through Fat Dog's ears. *Fat Dog: Hey! That's it! You're meat, dork! chases Rodent Dog. *Lamb Wick: Rodent Dog's good, huh Glasses Duck? *Hilary Hedgehog: calling Lamb Wick! *Lamb Wick: Hilary Hedgehog! dives into a bush. *Glasses Duck: Hilary Hedgehog? Lamb Wick. *Hilary Hedgehog: Glasses Duck from the back Lamb Wick. *Glasses Duck: Lamb Wick, Hilary Hedgehog. *Hilary Hedgehog: Glasses Duck I've been looking for you. Mom said to clean your room! drags him off. *Glasses Duck: Lamb Wick?! *Lamb Wick: out of the bush What a tree sap. *Cool Goat: Hiya, Lamb Wick. Why ya dressed like Rodent Dog? *Lamb Wick: his normal voice It's a dare, Cool Goat. Rodent Dog So buzz off, melonhead! *Cool Goat: laughing Been there, done that, Lamb Wick, oh, I mean Rodent Dog! Ha ha! Oh. *Frank: *Cool Goat: Frank says he'll give you a quarter if you'll do a dare. *Lamb Wick: Bring it on, I'll do anything for cash. 'Cause I'm short. ---- *kicks open the door to Lamb Wick's bedroom and throws Glasses Duck inside. *Hilary Hedgehog: I'll be back in five minutes! starts to close the door, but stops. Cuz Mom said I could! *slams the door, leaving Glasses Duck in the grody hole known to us as Lamb Wick's basement. *Glasses Duck: in a chair Deception certainly is excruciating. *Duck looks down and spots a sandwich. The bread is all molded, and it is so old that mushrooms are popping out of the bread everywhere. *Glasses Duck: OH, THE INHUMANITY! *Duck wrenches himself free of the chair and stumbles backwards into the bathroom. He falls into the bathtub with a plop. When he sits up, he is covered in a strange brown glop–the same glop filling the tub. *Glasses Duck: What in heaven's name is this? fishes in the muck. A ladle? Oh my. IT'S A TUB OF GRAVY! ---- *Dog bursts into Glasses Duck's house and slams the door on Fat Dog. *Fat Dog: Get outta Glasses Duck's house! Dog runs upstairs, and Fat Dog opens the door. Get out here and take your lumps. *Dog finds his way into Glasses Duck's room and locks the door. *Rodent Dog: Bingo. *Fat Dog: on the door Open this door! *Rodent Dog: Sucker! *Fat Dog: That's it, I'm gonna count to three– *Rodent Dog: Don't bust an artery, Einstein. *an alarm begins to blare, and the room strobes with a red light. A recording of Glasses Duck's voice is heard. *Recording: You have invaded my personal space. Do not touch anything and leave via the designated exit. *Exit sign over the door is flashing. The lock on the door unlocks itself, and the door swings open to reveal a triumphant, viciously happy Fat Dog. *Recording: Watch your step on the way out and have a nice day! *Fat Dog: his fist into his palm Oh, you can count on it. chuckles evilly. *Rodent Dog: while mimicking Glasses Duck one last time} Oh dear. Pain. ---- *Cool Goat: [laughing Boy, Rodent Dog. We can't tell that truth to anyone now, can we? is dressed in Rodent Dog's clothes. From the top of the board, three straws stick up. Right, Lamb Wick? Whoops! I mean, Frank! Wick is in his underwear, pretending to be Frank. What's that, Rodent Dog? Woo, hoo! What a potty mouth! Goat laughs. Category:Transcripts Category:Television Category:Cartoons Category:Episodes Category:Action Category:Adventure